Why Every Parent is Really a Homeschooler
A veteran homeschool mom (with boys who also attended schools) shares why every parent is really a homeschooler.
2022 marks my 16th year of home education. We did not start off on this path with our older boys. Rather, we transitioned to it when my eldest son was entering 4th grade in 2006.
Not a single year since we began this lifestyle has looked the same.
We even entered the realm of hybrid homeschooling at times. Like when our third son attended a local public school for fifth and sixth grade. In his senior year of highschool, the same son was dual enrolled at the local community college.
If there is one thing that I’ve learned through the ups and downs of it all, I would say that I now know every parent is really a homeschooler.
Okay, I just heard a collective gasp from across the miles:
“Wow….wait a second? What do you mean every parent is really a homeschooler?”
YES! That is exactly what I have learned.
Every parent is ultimately responsible for their children and that includes their education.
It does not matter if you are teaching them at home yourself, homeschooling with the use of remote learning experiences, or sending them to a private or public school setting. In the end, YOU are the one most vested in their success and as such will have a role in their education.
As I have walked the path of all the options mentioned, I thought I’d share how I came to that conclusion.
Every Parent is Really a Homeschooler From a Child’s Birth
Before a child has even entered school, you (the parent) have been teaching them so very much.
As a baby, you talked to them which gave them an immersion experience to learn their native language.
You encouraged them in learning big motor skills like walking, running, hopping, and maybe even riding a tricycle.
You helped them learn to get dressed, to tie shoes (well, that could be a maybe given the prevalence of slip-on or velcro shoes), to have basic manners (please and thank you!), and maybe even important information such as their address and phone number.
By reading aloud to them, you have helped lay the foundation for literacy so that they can learn to read. Some of you might even have a child who so loved reading that they taught themselves through careful observation when you were reading to them.
Preschool Learning And Beyond
Whether away from home or with you at home for preschool and early elementary years, you work on things like fine motor skills whether wielding a pencil or a pair of scissors.
If you managed to escape a child’s desire to color and create projects at home in the preschool and early elementary school years, then I would be amazed. My house has had little shards of paper hanging around for more years than I care to mention.
As they learned to write out letters and read beginning words, you sat alongside them as a cheerleader and guide for the formation of those skills.
Reading books and talking at bedtime helped not only to strengthen bonds but to keep them learning.
For some parents, being connected to their child through volunteer work is important. Class moms who coordinate parties and teacher appreciation gifts, playground monitors, chaperones for field trips….all of these are ways that a parent assists in their child’s education.
When my older boys attended private school, I volunteered as a parent helper in their class. I helped not only them but the other students as well to go through learning activities that the teacher had pulled together.
As they grew, the homework changed including the amount they bring home.
While primary teaching may occur at school, I have yet to meet a parent who has not assisted to some degree with their child’s homework.
I might not go so far as to DO parts of a project for my son, but I will help where he is struggling and encourage him in the process.
I spend time quizzing him on spelling before his test at school. My husband and I take turns going over math problems to check for accuracy. And, we talk about big concepts being taught.
I also have the perpetual question when he walks in the door every afternoon: “What do you have for homework tonight?”
If I thought that ended when high school was over, then I was wrong. My eldest son did the ‘commuter college’ option to save money. I had him come to me with questions on homework for both chemistry and trigonometry this week.
If he was away from home in a dorm room, I suspect I would still have be asked in a text or phone call on occasion.
There is no one way to go about raising a child, including educational options.
Every child and family is different and the best solution one year may not be the best the next year.
But when the dust has all settled, it can truly be said that every parent is really a homeschooler.
“There is no one way to go about raising a child, including educational options.” #homeschool #parenting http://t.co/rcEvh9oL4K
— Laura O’Neill (@LauraOinAK) September 8, 2015
Have you taught your child at home, either solely or to supplement what they are learning in school?
What changes in your involvement have you seen over the years?
Don’t miss these other posts related to home education and parenting!
This post was originally published on Sep 8, 2015, and has been updated.
This is so wonderful! Just shared your post with the other moms in our homeschool co-op. Definitely a topic we will chat about next week. Thank you!
Well said! Parents need to make use of every opportunity they get to teach new things to their children.
Right now I don’t have children, but I’d like to be a homeschooler parent. There are so many important ghings to teach them, that are not taught in school. I’m from Romania and the educations system is 100 years back. Nothing is practical, just theoretical.
What an encouraging post! We are homeschooling full-time right now, but we’re always open to other school options if it’s in the best interest of our family. There is no “one size fits all” choice!
Nicely done, Laura. And thank you for the sweet reminder this was of those early years! I had that child who picked up reading by those hours of board books and picture books. And Five in a Row. 🙂
I just took Five in a Row off my shelf to start gathering books. I think my youngest will LOVE the selections. And, the books that Moving Beyond the Page uses are fantastic, too.
I definitely think there are never enough books to be read.
Thanks for another thought provoking post. Looking forward to more in your series on this.
Thanks, Lori. I have a few more posts coming next week which I hope will be useful to other parents.
What great points you make! We are all home-educators, because our children are learning from us no matter if we ‘homeschool’ or not. And every parent must remember that ultimately a child’s education is their responsibility!
I am a second grade teacher and I wish all parents understood that they are responsible along with the teacher for their child’s education. I am there to guide the teach and guide the student, but I can’t do it alone! Parents are children’s first teachers!
Absolutely, Laurie! I may have joked with my one son that his going to school meant I was off the hook, but being a parent involves so much including helping with homework. It really is a team effort!
I worked for the second largest school district in the nation for almost 25 years. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to impress upon parents that they are their children’s best advocate and responsible for making sure that there child receives the education they deserve. Great post!
Thanks, Pam. I spent a few years doing working on a research project that had me going into different school districts to interview student and their parent/guardian. It always made me sad to see those who do abdicate all responsibility to the school district and expect the teachers to fully form their child.
Totally agree. Parents have the ultimate responsibility of teaching their children. So important to be involved in what they are learning.
I think that’s so true. Parents are the first – and most consistent – teachers in a child’s life. That’s a big responsibility!
I was not home-schooled as a child, but my parents always took me on educational family outings. My parents were very active in knowing what I was learning in class and how the homework reflect it
Same, here, Bri. I went to a mixture of parochial and public school growing up. If I needed help with homework, they did their best or helped me find someone that could. And, my mom chaperoned numerous times. Plus, we did historical site visits as part of our summer ‘vacation’ trips.
This is so true! Teach your children well.
Amen! They are our future, for better or worse.
I love how you included every parent who has taught their children. The divide used to be so wide and at times people would get offended. I hope homeschooling is something my daughters consider when they have children of their own and make the choices that are right for their children.
I find it sad that there is such division. When all is said and done, we are all striving to do our best as parents. Where you child learns is less important than being an active part of their lives and helping to guide them.
Good thoughts! Yes, all parents are ultimately responsible for their child’s education, regardless of where they go to school.
Laura, my kids are all grown, the youngest is 21. Just two days ago, my oldest son, who turned 30 in June, called me asking if he could pick my brains for a semester-long project he has to do in an english class at Armstrong Atlantic State University. Sometimes he emails me finished assignments for proofreading and suggestions. This pattern began a long long time ago, watching Sesame Street instead of cartoons, teaching them at the kitchen counter as I measured and mixed biscuits or pancakes, doing just for fun art projects in the summer, going to the homestead to bring family history to life…I have 6 children, and this pattern has held true for all of them. I only attempted to homeschool once (it was a disaster) but have been certainly fully involved in the process from the time they were tiny.
Michele,
I do the same for some things I write. I’ll call up my mom to take a look or listen.
It’s awesome that the pattern worked well for you. And, I can totally understand the disaster of homeschooling. I don’t think it would have worked well when my eldest was ready to start school as he refused to do any work like that for me. He needed the time IN school.
Laura, I totally agree. I’ll never forget an education panel I attended before I even had kids. There were representatives on the panel from public school, private school, and some homeschoolers. One of the homeschool moms, when she was wrapping up, said “No matter where you choose to educate your child, sending them to school or keeping them home, you as the parent are ultimately responsible for your child’s education.” It is so true.
Sadly, I have seen people who do forfeit it all to the school district and just expect them to work everything out for the child. Yes, it is easier in the short term, but not in the long haul.