40 Days of Seeking Him 2011 ~ Day 6

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Looking at some of the posts for this meme by other bloggers has helped spark a bit of contemplation for me.
Catherine at Our Village is a Little Different had the following statement: “Love the Lord God with all my heart, and love my neighbor as I have been loved.”  This is something I am constantly working with the boys to have as a goal.  Loving God with all their heart is probably the easier part.  It’s how we love our neighbor that can be a real challenge.
The difficulty we’ve seen with the boys lately is instead of treating others how they want to be treated, they take the approach of treating others as badly as they think they’ve been treated.  Well, I should clarify that they treat people outside the family well.  It’s the family members that get the poor treatment on a regular basis.
Conversations sound a bit like this:

Pushing to get my attention, one of the boys will start complaining about the other.  “Mom, brother was hitting and kicking me!”
As I glance at the other boy, the reply that comes is “Well, he started it by calling me a nincompoop!”
Said with a shrug by son 1, “I’m just telling him what he is! He kept looking at me and wouldn’t stop.  I didn’t hit him first.”
Speaking as I look at both boys, “Is that how we should be treating your brother?”
Feet are shuffled and eyes look everywhere but at me.  Then one will say, “Well, aren’t we supposed to treat others how they treat you?  I think it’s even in the Bible!”
Shaking my head and wondering how many times this discussion will happen in my lifetime, I’ll say, “No, that is not in the Bible.  Try ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Somehow I don’t think Jesus meant to treat others badly if they treat you badly.  Instead we should be treating others the way we want to be treated.”

Just writing out this little conversation that happens more often than I care to admit has me reflecting upon recent homilies by our pastor.  One of the themes that has come up multiple times is that we should NOT take our loved ones for granted.  Sadly, we do seem to discount their importance or feel that we can ‘vent’ in ways that hurt the other person.  (If my memory is working well, I believe he mentioned that taking our spouse for granted could be the first step on the path that leads to a bad marriage relationship.  Makes sense to me that ignoring or badgering a spouse could have them seeking love elsewhere….)
For years, I have known that the boys go out into the world with their best behavior and then seem to have a switch flip at home.  If I were to share some of the things the boys do at home, some of my friends would think I have a very creative imagination.  They just can not imagine my good natured boys harboring a ‘bad’ side.  As much as I wish they’d cease the poor behavior at home, I am comforted a little that they save it all for me rather than unleashing it upon someone who does not love them nearly as much.
The challenge as a parent is to keep guiding them towards living life as a family the way God intends.  The Holy Family provides a goal for which we can strive.  
It’s a constant work in progress here with no end in sight.
Lent is the perfect time for learning how to live as a family by making those small sacrifices on a daily basis.  Now I just need to get the boys to buy into that!