Carving Out Time for Your Husband When Homeschooling

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I’m sure many of us have heard the old adage, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.’  Well, I think it can definitely apply to the need to strengthen a marriage when the family is homeschooling.  

 

And, this is the theme of this week’s TOS Blog Cruise where crewmates will be answering the question “How do you make time for your spouse?”

 

Homeschooling your brood can be demanding work ~ really demanding at times.  I know that there are times when I have felt like almost my entire day was consumed with homeschooling activities.  It becomes all about the kids at that point.  Sadly, I’ve had those days when my interaction with Mr. O consisted of dinner around the table as a family and a quick peck on the cheek before dashing out to bring one of the boys to an activity (e.g. Boy Scouts.)

 

Time flies by and those good intentions go right out the window with it.

 

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Image: domdeen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

After enough days like that, your marriage can start to suffer the consequences.

 

The solution?

 

Carving out time for your husband so that your marriage might be nurtured!

 

Now, I have had those weeks (or dare I say months!) when carving out time for my husband wasn’t happening on a regular basis.  It wasn’t even a desire to not be with him.  Rather, it was a combination of being ‘busy’ with things for the kids and the misguided notion that I needed to schedule a full on date night that our budget just could not handle (babysitters can be expensive!)

 

In the past year, I have made a more conscious effort to find that time for my husband.  Granted, one aspect of our life that has helped make it possible is having a teenaged son at home who can watch his siblings when Mr. O and I decided we want to do a dinner out (with coupons, of course.)  But, I have also realized that we can designate times throughout the week that are for just us.  And, they do not have to be lengthy bouts of activity, either.

 

One thing that we’ve been more vigilant about doing on nights when there is no activity outside of the house is to send all the boys downstairs for some time together as a couple.  Usually, we aren’t doing anything spectacular beyond watching TV or having dessert.  But, it is time that we can be together as a couple without little (and not so little) eyes upon us.

 

I have also chosen to go to bed with my husband rather than staying up late every night trying to get more done.  As hard as I tried to accomplish ‘so much’ during those late night sessions, I finally realized that it was driving a wedge into the relationship with my husband. Beyond that, I also realized that some ‘time suckers’ like Facebook and email will never be satiated as there is always something else to do or see. 

 

At the moment, I’m in the middle of a review book that tackles the need to avoid overscheduling and focus more on relationships.  All the ‘great activities’ in the world for the kids are not so great if the parents never have time alone and the family falls apart.

 

During the past few months, we’ve been having something that could be called a ‘date night’ each time our 8 year old has a Cub Scout den meeting.  It isn’t glamorous, but we have fallen into the habit or dropping him off and then walking around Wal-Mart for 45 minutes.  I’m thinking that once the weather improves, we might be visiting a local park instead to walk around.  Either venue gives us the chance to be together and chat as we go.

 

Now that the boys are getting more used to being sent to bed before they might desire, I’m contemplating having some romantic dinners as a couple at home.  I’m sure that our budget will appreciate it, too.

 

Finally, I am spending more time in prayer for my husband that I have in the past.  I’ve continued working through The Beautiful Wife which I reviewed earlier this year and am seeing the rewards of addressing how I need to be as a wife rather than dwelling on how I wish things were. 

 

Be sure to check out the TOS Blog Cruise page on Tuesday, March 20th to see what other TOS Crewmates have to say on this topic.  I, for one, am curious to read their posts.

 

 

4 Comments

  1. I have had a hard time with this in the past as well. Having my husband home and not working for 3 years when he hurt his back and now home for 2 years on unemployment might seem to help that. But, the stress those situations puts us through makes us run to things that distract us rather than spending time together. If we talk we may bring up the subjects that are to hard to handle right now. So, when we do spend time together it is doing something where we won’t have to talk much and that is ok for now. I have been trying to pray for him, but not as consistently as I should. Thanks for the reminders. He is important to me and I need to make him a priority.

  2. Thank you for the reminder that sometimes we have to stop and spend a little time with our spouses. I know lately I’ve been doing this more as my daughters have gotten older. We take a moment, even if its for a short drive around town just to regroup, talk , and spend a little time with each other.

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